Top Engineers’ Terminologies

1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED
  – We are still pissing in the wind. 

2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM –
  – We just hired three kids fresh out of college. 

3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION
  – We know who to blame. 

4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH
  – It works OK, but looks very hi-tech. 

5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED
  – We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered. 

6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE
  – The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch. 

7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING
   – We are so surprised that the stupid thing works. 

8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED
  – The only person who understood the thing quit. 

9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS
  – It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.
10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT
   – Forget it!  We have enough problems for now. 


11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL
  – Let’s spread the responsibility for the screw up. 

12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING
   – We’ll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn’t interfere with what we’ve already done. 
13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION
  – I can’t wait to hear this bull! 

14. SEE ME or LET’S DISCUSS
  – Come into my office, I’m lonely.
  – Come to my office, I’ve screwed up again. 
15. ALL NEW
  – Parts not interchangeable with the previous design. 


16. RUGGED
   – Too damn heavy to lift! 

17. LIGHTWEIGHT
   – Lighter than RUGGED. 

18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT
   – One finally worked. 

19. ENERGY SAVING
  – Achieved when the power switch is off. 
21. IT IS TECHNICALLY IMPOSSIBLE
  – I don’t feel like doing it. 

22. IT DEPENDS…
  – Abandon all hope of a useful answer. 

23. THE DATA BITS ARE FLEXED THROUGH A COLLECTIMIZER WHICH STRIPS THE FLOW-
    GATE ARRAYS INTO VIRTUAL MESSAGE ELEMENTS
  – I don’t know.

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