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"There is always a little more toothpaste in the tube"
"Goodness knows why anyone would want to shoot an animal as harmless and retiring as the moose, but thousands do – so many, in fact, that states now hold lotteries to decide who gets a license. Maine last year received 82,000 applications for 1,500 permits. Over 12,000 out-of-staters happily parted with a non-refundable $20 just to be allowed to take part in the draw.
Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. In fact, a moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. That’s all there is to it. Without doubt, the moose is the most improbable, endearingly hopeless creature ever to live in the wilds. It is huge – as big as a horse – but magnificently ungainly. A moose runs as if its legs have never been introduced to each other. Even its antlers are hopeless. Other creatures grow antlers with sharp points that look wonderful in profile and command the respect of adversaries. Moose grow antlers that look like oven gloves.
Above all what distinguishes the moose is its almost boundless lack of intelligence. If you are driving down a highway and a moose steps from the woods ahead of you, he will squint at you for a long minute, then abruptly hie off down the road away from you, legs flailing in eight directions at once. Never mind that there are perhaps 10,000 square miles of safe, dense forest on either side of the highway. Clueless as to where he is and what exactly is going on, the moose doggedly follows the highway halfway to New Brunswick before his peculiar gait inadvertently steers him back into the woods, where he immediately stops and takes on a perplexed expression that says, "Hey – woods. Now how the heck did I get here?"
Moose are so monumentally muddle-headed, in fact, that when they hear a car or truck approaching they will often bolt out of the woods and on to the highway in the curious hope that this will bring them to safety. Every year in New England about 1,000 moose are fatally struck by cars or trucks. (Since a moose weighs 2,000 pounds and is exactly built so that a car bonnet will take its spindly legs out from under it while leaving the bulk of it to fall through the windscreen, collisions are often equally fatal to the motorist.) When you see how quiet and empty are the roads that run through the northern woods and realize how manifestly unlikely it is that any creature could emerge onto the highway just as a vehicle is passing, you will appreciate just how amazing those numbers are".
: Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason 0330367358